Tantrum

If you guys have been reading my blog lately.. The past few post... Very emo one right?
Great, I burst out today.

" A tantrum is an emotional outburst wherein higher brain functions are unable to stop the emotional expression of the lower (emotional and physical) brain functions. It can be categorized by an irrational fit of crying, screaming, defiance, and a resistance to every attempt at pacification in which even physical control is lost. The person may not stand or sit on their own. Even when the "goal" of the person is met, he or she is not calmed. "

I screamed at my mother. I cursed my dad out loud.
Being a bad daughter... I feel down..
Obviously I cried. I never really told anyone about this but decided to pen it down.
I really can't concentrate at my interview tomorrow.
I often disappoint my ma.. But hey ma.. I am just a human ok?
I am really sorry.
Thanks for listening to me although you doubt it.
I really mean it when I said it wasn't me when I screamed at you.

For the 1st time ever in my life... I never felt like this before...
I was actually thinking about some nonsense thing when I scream...
And honestly I can't really describe it.. Verbally too...
It's like I was actually worrying about something that I don't even know.
wtf right? What is wrong with me?
Should I start taking anti-depressan pills?
Or should I admit myself into the hospital?

It really wasn't me..... There has been a lot going on lately and I can't tell you everything...
The biggest hole in my heart...
Even if I told you, you wouldn't know the pain.. Because pa was your 1st love and you guys are lucky to get married to each other.
You wouldn't know the break ups pain.
I am sorry ma. I will try my best for the interview tomorrow.
I've always disappoint you since small. Like missing out an A in my PMR and SPM.
Failed to secure a scholarship. The only moment I can remember that you were proud of me when I was in Std. 3. When I passed my PTS. That's it. You expect too much from me. I'm stressed out.
My stubbornness will never cure, but I'll try to cease it.
Forgive me, ma.

your useless daughther,
riina